The Anatomy of a Transition
As I navigate this current stage of my cancer journey, I’ve been struggling with labelling some of what I’m going through. On the one hand I feel good. My surgery was seven weeks ago. I’m feeling fit and am out running again. In many ways I’m back to normal. But the latest blood tests reveal I haven’t yet got the all-clear. Uncertainty remains.
At the end of last week I downloaded the Modern Elder Academy’s PDF ‘The Anatomy of a Transition.’ It was timely and has given clarity to the stages of the midlife transition I’ve found myself in: The End, The Messy Middle and New Beginnings.
It starts with The End, the start of a transition that has to happen because of something coming to a close. My cancer diagnosis in October that disrupted my life is what the authors Jeff Hamaoui and Kari Cardinale call an ‘external kick’. It was a factor outside of my control (there are also factors of our choosing, such as leaving a job you can no longer bear). It was a moment where I knew life wasn’t going to be the same again. There followed an ‘emotional bath’ - a complex mix of hot and cold emotions that can lead to an identity crisis.
Right now, I’m in stage two - The Messy Middle. It’s a liminal space between having the surgery and I’m recovering well but where things are not yet defined or clear. Next steps include uncovering ‘the possibilities of uncertainty.’ At the same time I am focusing on ‘finding the thread,’ living through my core values and stretching myself to find meaning from this time. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how I can knit my skills and mastery into the new direction.
New Beginnings are to come. This final stage involves finding moments of alignment, congruence, momentum and clarity to emerge grown, changed and transformed. Then we can take flight, ready to leap into the world refreshed. I’ve been keen to get to here, but I’m not quite there yet. I’m very much enjoying being back at work and launching myself into life as usual - and it’s exciting to know there are new possibilities and opportunities to explore down the line.
If you’re going through a transition - either coming to the end of something of your choosing, or had a life event thrust upon you - I highly recommend reading about this three-stage framework. Finding the language to describe what you feel is immensely helpful, and it’s reassuring to know they’ll be positive outcomes ahead.