Reflections on Reunion, the new book by Jerry Colonna

“I don’t know what to do,” read the text from Jerry’s daughter, Emma.

It was the summer of 2020, just days after the murder of George Floyd. Emma was one of thousands marching for racial justice from Brooklyn towards the NYPD HQ in Manhattan. With riot police blocking the route ahead, Emma was suddenly trapped. And thousands of miles away on his farm in Colorado, Jerry texted back his advice about what to do if pepper-sprayed.

Emma’s always been that kind of person, Jerry writes in his latest book ‘Reunion: Leadership and the Journey to Belonging.’ Whenever he’d chat to his kids about liberal or progressive matters, Emma would cock her head to one side and say, "Dad . .. it's not enough to be an ally. You've got to be a co-conspirator."

The book is an exhortation to all of us born with privilege to step up. To stop simply being an ally and instead be a co-conspirator. It’s a word that conveys action, not just words. There’s a powerful significance in that commitment to actively getting involved.

And the aim of our involvement? It’s to create a world in which all people, “however they identify; whomever and however they love; whatever their roots” feel the safety of Belonging, a felt sense of inclusion. Jerry says we must be willing to fight for this.

It’s that urgent call for Belonging that’s at the heart of ‘Reunion.’ It’s a compelling book, a mixture of personal storytelling that sits alongside a passionate call for all of us to redress the systemic problems that lie within our societies today.

How can we begin such an undertaking? Followers of Jerry won’t be surprised he advocates a first step of ‘radical self inquiry’. Before we can go out in the world and demand change, we need to start with looking within ourselves. We need to go deep - the challenge is for us to get curious in exploring our past to know the truths of our origins. It’s only then we can ‘come home to ourselves.’ And from there we can become the co-conspirators, helping create a system of ‘Belonging for all’.

These questions of radical self inquiry might not be easy to answer. The questions themselves may be uncomfortable - especially for those of us who identify as white, male and straight. But we need, Jerry writes, to ask how we’ve been complicit in, and benefited from, systems of oppression that repressed other members of society. The first step in being able to truly step into and create a ‘system of Belonging’ is to acknowledge the effects of privilege in your life. We need to look closely and find the unseen and unnamed forces that have held us up as it held others back.

Asking these tough questions though will lead us on a journey of reunification with the parts of ourselves that lie beneath the surface. These are the ‘myths and truths’ of our elders and ancestors. Jerry argues that it’s only once we see ourselves clearly that we can see - and acknowledge, and make amends for - the effects on those who have been ‘Othered.’

In ‘Reunion’ Jerry takes us on his own compelling journey of reunification with his ancestors. It starts with the arrival of his Italian grandfather on US shores, moves through to his childhood growing up in Brooklyn and involves a trip across the Atlantic to Ireland, in search of his grandmother’s resting place.

Going outside the bubble

It’s by facing our own need for belonging that will help us become better humans - and better leaders. It’s then we can start to create the kind of inclusion and belonging that are missing in so many people’s lives today.

Once we fully understand who we are, Jerry writes, how we got to be the person we are, we are able to expand our empathetic awareness.

It requires us to listen to voices outside the bubbles of our experiences. This means we’ll be better placed to listen to and understand those who’ve been Othered. We’ll start to appreciate how an experience might feel for those who have been marginalised. We can start to consider what it’s like ourselves to be Othered. We can step in their shoes and imagine what it is to be them.

And once we start to understand, we can then share the microphone with those whom the dominant culture has excluded from the dialogue. ‘Exclusion from the dialogue’, Jerry notes, also often means exclusion from leadership and from equitable power sharing.

Taking a stand

“We must speak up. We must take sides. The people you lead, the employees of the companies you build, want to know that you care enough to take a side, to stand for something.”

When the wave of protests for racial justice spread across the world in 2020, many businesses were quick to make promises. Taking a stand may have needed some courage. But now - and especially amidst a backlash on some company’s DEI programmes - employers and leaders need even more courage to ensure those words are more than simply empty promises.

Jerry writes of the need for leaders to be co-conspirators - yes, not just allies - in standing up for what’s right. Leadership in business and society demands that we actively and systemically work on behalf of those who have been Othered.

After all, this is what employees are yearning for.

“When your employees want you to take a stand for Black Lives Matter, for instance, they want you to lead with your heart, with empathy. They want you to give a shit…” he writes.

Taking a stand provides an opportunity for businesses to prove they have a purpose beyond the four walls of the company. Businesses aren’t simply about being wealth creators for investors, they should be organisations that provide that sense of Belonging; where the longing to belong is recognised.

What if the purpose of not just leadership - but of all our human efforts - was ultimately to ensure that everyone belonged? This of course includes - especially - the dispossessed and the disinherited. ‘What if this were the point of it all?’ he writes. I love this concept: that ultimately the point of all our efforts and energies were to make everyone feel as if they belonged.

These are take-it-to-the-street times

A sense of urgency in Jerry’s voice comes through the lines of the book. “These are knee-on-the-neck, backs-against-the-wall, lives-in-the-balance, take-it-to-the-streets times,” he reminds us.

Jerry says that each of us has a responsibility to live up to the true meaning of leadership. It’s hard not to come to the end of Reunion and do anything but agree. I read the last lines and I feel my eyes are freshly opened to the work I need to do to understand how I got to here.

I’m left with the sense of contemplating: what can I do now to be more than an ally and to step up into the role of co-conspirator? How can I lean in to building a future where everyone feels they belong? How can I help shape a system where no-one feels othered?

I have finished the book - knowing there is much work to do.

What I’ll take away after reading Reunion of what Jerry’s daughter Emma told him: to be more than an ally. To be co-conspirators in the creation and maintaining of systematic belonging for us all. After all, isn’t that a future worth fighting for?