Before you airbrush out the bad bits, know that it’s your whole story that makes you, You.
Nine years ago I told a story for the first time. No-one had ever heard it before. Not like this. Not in all its absolute honesty.
It was a story about why I quit my job - the real reason I left a well-paid, successful role as the MD of a radio studio business to work for myself.
I stood up in front of an audience at The DO Lectures and explained what really happened. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I was open and raw and honest about what went wrong, and why.
You can watch it below.
Mine is far from a unique story. Most of us in some way have experienced difficult times in our lives. But sharing our own troubles can provide reassurance to others. Like a lighthouse throwing out a beam that can guide others to safer shores, we know we’re not alone on choppy seas. We see a way through the rocks. When we identify with someone who has the same sort of experiences as us, it can be liberating. We’re not alone.
Often, however, the default is to turn down the volume on our real stories. We’re not comfortable highlighting the cloudy chapters alongside the sunny ones. We keep it all in. It’s a human thing to do, being protective of ourselves and our frailties.
But I think there’s a great deal of good stuff that can come out when we reveal all the bits of our messy, muddled lives.
Over the years I’ve had lots of feedback from people who’ve been moved by what I said. Because I was truthful and vulnerable.
People identified with my struggle. One person contacted me to say:
“This evening, after watching your talk, understanding that other people are going through what I am going through I feel so empowered. I feel that I have to chase my dreams. And for that — I wanted to say thank you.”
We’re missing a trick if we airbrush our past.
I’d initially airbrushed out the tough bits. I hadn’t always been honest about the real reason why I quit my job all those years ago. Initially I hadn’t told the full story of how over-work, stress and depression led me down a dead-end.
But when I shone the light on that darkness on stage at The Do Lectures, it was liberating. Doing that has enabled me to take meaning from my story and to use my experiences to drive and inform who I am today.
Right now I’m navigating my own cancer journey. I’m comfortable sharing about this. When I hear back from people who have taken some comfort or inspiration from something I’ve said, that in turn helps me feel better.
When we’re honest with ourselves - about our difficulties, vulnerabilities, mistakes - we can use that as a springboard to move forward. If we own our story, get comfortable and confident with the truth: it might be the catalyst we need to shape our new future.
How about you? Can you use your true story as a springboard to say to the world: this is who I am, this is how I got here, and this is where I’m headed next?